


Call

by eliniel



Series: Misc Emet-Selch/WoL [11]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Named Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 02:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30065529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliniel/pseuds/eliniel
Summary: After the Seat of Sacrifice and returning the Scions to the Source, Adra is overwhelmed with grief over killing the last of the Unsundered.
Relationships: Azem/Emet-Selch (Final Fantasy XIV), Emet-Selch (Final Fantasy XIV)/Original Character(s), Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Series: Misc Emet-Selch/WoL [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1423444
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Call

**Author's Note:**

> A birthday gift for Nipuni :)
> 
> Based on her work of art ->> [here](https://twitter.com/NipuniDraws/status/1351985323862093826?s=20)

The heels of my shoes clicked against the stone as I ran, blinking back the stinging in my eyes. I huffed, trying to control my breathing, trying not to panic. The orange stone in my pocket pressed against my thigh with every step- a blessing, in the end.

But also a burden, weighing heavily on my mind. 

I didn’t know where I was going- didn’t  _ care _ . All I knew was that I  _ needed _ to get away before I allowed my emotions to get the best of me. 

Their  _ laughter _ followed in my wake, echoing in the back of my mind. The  _ thump _ of their cups pounding together as they toasted yet another  _ victory _ ...

Their triumph tasted like ash in my mouth and it was all I could do to slowly, calmly walk out of the tavern with a muted smile on my face, hiding the frustration- the  _ rage _ \- that was steadily building within me. It took  _ everything _ in me- every ounce of control- to wait until the wooden door closed behind me before taking off into the setting sun.

_ They didn’t understand _ , I thought bitterly, darting past the wide-eyed guard at the gate. I had told them, yes, and to their credit, they had tried to sympathize. But they didn’t  _ truly _ know. They could  _ never _ know.

And for their sake, I had tried my best to remain happy. Brave.  _ Indestructible _ . Their vaunted hero through and through.

But my tolerance was growing  _ weary _ .  _ I _ ...was growing weary.

My hair was ripped from over my shoulder as I made my way out of the camp, flinging behind me as the ribbon tying the ends together came loose and flew away on the wind. The braid unravelled until it was entirely unbound- a black curtain floating behind me in the vanishing evening light. 

And this emptiness- the hole that had burst open inside of me the moment I landed that very first killing blow, it was deeper now that the last of the Unsundered was gone. It continued to grow, threatening to consume me whole. 

Their joy only made it worse. 

Elidibus’ face flashed in my mind and my jaw clenched as I attempted to swallow the tears back down again. 

Could we have come to an agreement, I wondered? Why,  _ why _ hadn’t I tried  _ harder _ ? I had been one of them- their friend, their companion. Even if he couldn’t remember me...surely there was  _ something _ I could have done to prevent...this. 

I slid my eyes shut, taking a moment of silence. A moment of despair. 

And Emet-Selch-

_ No _ , I said to myself. No, don’t think about  _ him _ . The one- and  _ only  _ one- I had ever given my heart to. The one who had forced me to expend the Light-  _ into _ him. The reason for this gaping void inside of me. A piece of me  _ gone _ . Forever.

My chin trembled and I ground my teeth together as my insides squirmed with disgust.

He had forgiven me, in the end. His sad, knowing smile was evidence enough. I doubted he had  _ ever _ blamed me, even as he blew away as nothing but particles on the wind. 

But I...I could not forgive  _ myself _ . I had claimed to love him, and yet I’d-

I shook my head and opened my eyes once more as the chill of the night burned my cheeks, each gulp of breath searing my lungs.

But still, I ran. Ran from my friends, who, despite knowing the Ascian’s tragic tale, still celebrated their deaths with food and drink. Ran from my thoughts even though they continued to hound me, threatening to overwhelm me. Ran from...from myself and the regret that loomed over me with every waking moment. 

My boots splashed into cold water, quickly and easily seeping into the material of my trousers. A shiver coursed through me, but I kept my focus as I entered the Tangle of Mor Dhona. 

One foot in front of the other until either my mind was blank or my body simply could not carry me any longer.

I felt the toe of my shoe snag on something, however, and before I could stop myself, I was caught. I went sprawling, face first, into the water. I was  _ soaked _ in a matter of seconds, and I lifted myself to my knees, twisting to see what had tripped me. 

A raised root, I realized. 

_ Of course _ , I thought with a bitter laugh and a roll of my eyes. Of course, what else could go wrong? 

With those thoughts, the dam I’d been holding on my emotions buckled and I felt a sting in my eyes again. But this time, I couldn’t stop it.

“What else could go wrong?” I asked, outloud this time, my voice a high whine. My chin trembled and the torrent rushed forth from me. 

I broke down into a fit of sobs, the tears beginning to roll down my cheeks. I slammed my fists down into the icy water.

“What  _ hasn’t _ gone wrong?”

I sat back on my legs, defeated. My shoulders slumped, arms coming to rest on my thighs, brushing against the stone still in my pocket. It seared my skin through the fabric, its weight crushing me down. 

The anger rose up inside of me in a matter of seconds and I reached my hand inside, tearing the orange crystal out.

“What good are you?” I demanded, as if it could hear me. “What...what good are you when everyone is  _ dead _ ?” I pulled my arm back, preparing to throw it.

I tried. But no matter how many times my mind told me to  _ do it _ , my body stalled, refusing to move. 

I couldn’t, I realized. I couldn’t. The last  _ real _ connection I had to Amaurot. To the Convocation. To  _ him _ . 

_ I- _

With a sigh, I dropped my hand to my lap and gazed down at the sun engraved into the stone. I ran the pad of my thumb over it and closed my eyes and bowed my head as if I were praying. 

“I miss you,” I sobbed. “I want...I want you  _ back _ .”

I wanted him to tease me, to taunt me. To infuriate me. 

To hold me, to kiss me. 

“I would do  _ anything _ ,” I thought aloud. “To hear your voice again.”

To not disappoint him again. To prove my worth to him.

I would do it, I swore. If it meant that I could wrap my arms around him again, I would do anything.

“You called, hero?”

My breath whooshed out of me and I froze. A chill ran up my spine. 

_ No, it-it wasn’t possible. _

“Look at me.”

A trick, I surmised as I shook my head in denial. My mind was playing a trick on me.

“Adra.”

My eyes flew open at the word. Two simple syllables that held all the power in the world. 

But the world-

I slowly peered around. I was no longer in Mor Dhona. I wasn’t even in Eorzea, from as far as I could tell. I knelt in a pool of starlight that stretched on for...malms- as far as I could see. And towering over me, under a twinkling sky, stood an impossibly tall figure.

I got to my feet as I inspected him. He looked as if he had been crafted from moonlight itself- his hair as white as the hooded robe wrapped around him, a spiked, silver crown floating atop his head. 

But there- familiar earring dangling from one lobe. The playful look in his aurum eyes as he beheld me.

“Emet-Selch…?” A soft smile spread across his lips as he inclined his head. 

“I’ll have no more tears from you, my dear.” My eyes widened and I opened my mouth...then shut it. I roughly swiped the remaining water from my face. 

“But...I-,” I tried again. “You... _ How _ ?” He glanced down and my eyes followed his, to the stone still grasped in my hand. Only now, it was glowing. 

“The power to summon the stars to your side,” he mused as I released my hold on it. It began floating an ilm above my palm and my breath caught. “Ascended you are not, and yet you retain a whisper of your true abilities.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him motion towards the crystal. “Look into it.”

I hesitated for a moment, peering back up at him with a furrowed brow, but his smile widened and he only gave me an encouraging nod.

I pursed my lips, but did as he asked, raising the stone towards my face. 

But, no matter how long I stared at it- taking in the vibrant color, the circle imprinted on the front...nothing happened. 

His booming chuckle nearly shook the ground. My gaze shot back up to him as he shook his head.

“No, hero,” he said, amusement filling his voice. I clicked my tongue in indignation. “Remember what Hythlodaeus told you about these stones.” I frowned, looking back to it as it bobbed in the air above my hand. 

What...Hythlodaeus had said?

_ Each crystal bears an account of the life of a member of the Convocation. _

_ They suffice for imbuing memories within sundered souls. _

My eyes widened. Above me, Emet-Selch hummed with my realization.

“Look  _ into _ it.”

And there- the more I concentrated, I could hear them.  _ Whispers _ in that ancient tongue, calling to me.  _ For  _ me.

I swallowed hard, my heart beating wildly, loudly in my ears. 

Memories... _ my _ memories...As told by him.

I inhaled a deep, steading breath and peered  _ into _ the stone. Past the surface, wending my way through its aether to uncover what laid beneath. 

His power entered me, as soft and comforting as his arms around me. I felt tears well in my eyes as I closed them, letting the tendrils cradle me and slip into my mind. I released a soft sigh of relief. 

Moments of my previous life flashed behind my eyelids. Memories of me- of  _ us _ . Of our lives together. 

Of our  _ love _ .

As quickly as it began, it was over. The power within me faded, retreating back into the crystal as it dropped back into my palm. I curled my fingers around it, my heart aching with longing.

And this time, when I opened my eyes to see him, I  _ knew _ him. 

“Hades,” I breathed, a knowing sadness in the word.

There were holes, of course. I did not remember everything-  _ most _ was missing, really. But I remembered enough-

The smile he gave me mimicked the tone of my voice. 

“Yes, my love.”

“But...why?”

“You were on the brink,” he explained. “About to break.” 

“How did you know?”

“I heard your pleas. Your grief...your regret.” Slowly, my eyes dropped to the starlight at my feet. I gripped the stone tightly. 

“Yes, I...” My voice trailed off and I heaved a deep sigh, uncertain of where to start.

“May  _ I _ ask...why?” I furrowed my brow. How could he not know?

“I...killed you. And Elidibus. I-How are you not angry-” He chuckled again and my head snapped up.

“No, Adra. You  _ freed _ us.” 

“But I-You’re-”

“You saved us. From the most miserable of existences. Devoid of happiness and joy...Left only with our madness and the drive to complete the Rejoinings.” He grinned widely as my vision blurred, water rising to my eyes. “No, my dearest hero. You have released us after  _ eons _ of...tiresome travelling.”

I blinked several times, letting the tears free to slide down my cheeks. 

“And I could not be more grateful to you.”

“But you…,” I began, my voice unsteady as the despair entered my heart again. “You’re still  _ gone _ . All I want is for you to be at my side.”

“Oh, my love,” he cooed. “I never  _ truly _ left you.” He motioned to the stone still clutched in my hand. “You need only call on me. Day or night. No matter how small or large the predicament, I will  _ always _ answer.”

A sob slipped from me and I wilted to my knees. 

“Hades,” I whined. “I-I don’t-”

“It’s alright, my hero,” he assured me. “I will be here as long as you need. Forever, if you wish it.”

True to his word, he stood by as I wept until I had nothing left within me. Until I was raw and empty, my eyes puffy and my face blotchy. 

He said nothing, but his very presence was soothing, grounding as he watched over me. 

And when I had calmed, I slid the stone back into my pocket and sat back, crossing my legs in front of me. We talked- of lives past  _ and _ present, sliding back into our easy back-and-forth. 

The banter, the teasing...It felt unimaginably good. As if none of it had ever happened. 

And for the first time in what felt like...an eternity, I was beginning to feel complete again. 

After a long while, my spirits lifted, I finally felt ready to get up. To walk back to Revenant’s Toll and face my friends, who were more than likely still celebrating. 

As I got to my feet, Hades bowed his head to me, bidding me good night. And with that  _ infuriating _ smirk, he wished me  _ very _ pleasant dreams. 

I rolled my eyes, but my lips tugged upwards. 

“I will now, I think,” I admitted. “Goodnight, Hades.”

“Call on me anytime, my dear Warrior.” 

With a grateful nod, I turned on my heel, putting my back to him. The Tangle materialized around me again, though now the sun had set entirely, the miasma casting a magenta tint on the night sky. 

Though I knew he was gone, I peered over my shoulder.

Already, I missed him terribly. But he had said that he would  _ always _ be with. Knowing that all I had to do was to ask...helped to ease the pain a considerable amount. 

And perhaps...if I was able to call on him again,  _ talk _ with him more, I would come to learn more about myself, about... _ Azem _ . 

Despite myself, I smiled, my hand slipping into my pocket to grasp the crystal.

“Thank you,” I whispered to the emptiness behind me and the stone pulsed with warmth in answer. 

I breathed a laugh and a moment later, released the stone, then turned back towards the opening of trees that sat ahead of me. 


End file.
